Self Love is the Best Love
Updated: Nov 21, 2020
By: Mint Suetrong, Contributing Writer
Growing up is difficult. Everything changes (although some are more noticeable than others): you may move schools, or your friend circle may change due to new classes. Your hormones may decide to personify chaos. The self-doubt and insecurities start kicking in. We have all been there, done that. Don’t worry. You are not alone.
Loving yourself is hard. You feel like nothing you do is ever right, is ever enough. Every day, you find new flaws in yourself. Even an awkward, 2-second interaction stays on your mind for days, weeks even. To wake up and be content in your own skin seems unreachable. You beat yourself up over and over again.
Things take time. Your first plan may not end up being the best one, and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with changing your path. Nothing is set in stone. If you change your mind, do it confidently- even if the events that unfold may not be as you had expected. Making mistakes is perfectly normal, but you can either live with the mistake or learn from it and move on. The choice is yours. You may end up losing people or lose your passion for something you once loved, but you will never lose yourself. Even if it may appear that way when you wake up and barely recognise the reflection staring back at you. You are still you, trust me.
Give yourself a hug, you deserve it. There is no need to go so harsh on yourself. Being overly critical of yourself does no good to anyone, especially yourself. If loving yourself seems too far of a reach right now, aim for being content. Here is a compilation of reassuring words that help ground me on those difficult days.
You’re doing well.
You will be okay, trust me.
I know that you’re not okay, and that’s okay.
Things will work out.
You know what you know- this works like a charm when you feel unprepared for an exam.
I’m proud of you.
You didn’t waste today.
You deserved that rest.
Go live your life.
You’ve done your best and that is enough.
Listen to good music. While it feels absolutely amazing to wake up and feel like the day is yours to explore, oftentimes, it is difficult to feel that way. I have realised that I am easily influenced by music, so I avoid slow songs in the morning as it makes me feel sluggish. While it may be too overwhelming for some, I would put on songs with heavy bass or upbeat songs. My current favourites are Snap Shoot by Seventeen, Martini Blue by DPR LIVE, and Trivia: Love by BTS, but my all-time favourite would be none other than Mixtape: Gone Days by Stray Kids. Also, a warm tribute to Answer: Love Myself, Magic Shop, and Mikrokosmos, all by BTS, as they really saved me from a time when even song lyrics were too overwhelming for me. I really can’t thank them enough.
One final note: remember that you are loved, you are valid, and you are enough. There is always a reason to live; trust me. Don’t let go just yet.